What to Do When Your Home Doesn’t Feel Like Home Anymore
They say, “There is no place like home”
Home. The place where the warmth of love, the comfort, the peace, and as for me, the place where I always find sanity.
Home. For some, it’s the four-walled house that holds a lot of memories. The one place that witnessed everything from childhood to the beginning of the journey to adulthood.
Home. Always the place where I know I could always run to when I am in despair. In my home, I always find my comfort—the one place where I could escape to run away from the chaos of the outside world.
But, not all the time would it make me feel warm and peaceful. From time to time, sadness would creep in even though I am in my safe space.
In the Shade Moments of Sadness
These moments creep in sometimes and I don’t know where this sadness is coming from.
In these moment I want to cry, but tears seemed to don’t want to come off my eyes. The only thing that I can feel is how heavy my heart is feeling.
Sometimes a home does not feel like home. Sometimes the four corners of the so-called home do not feel warm enough to make the heart feel okay.
Moments when there is a heavy feeling, but I couldn’t find the reason for it.
In my case, it’s because of my endless thoughts — fears and frustration. Or it’s my urge to leave — to find the freedom that I have been longing for quite a while now. Or it’s the dilemma of wanting to leave and not leaving home.
“Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?” — Moby
Dealing With the Sudden Sadness
How do we deal with this unclear sadness?
Some say not to dwell with it.
Others say that you have to feel the pain and move on after.
Which one should we listen to?
No one.
We have to figure it out on our own. The only one who knows us the best are ourselves.
Because at the end of the day, we all have our ways of coping with sadness and pain. Either we dwell with it or not.
As for me, I like to dwell with sadness for as long as I want. In that way, I can get ahold of my emotions and thoughts because one way of dealing with my problems is knowing the root of them.
Sometimes where I cannot pinpoint where the sadness is coming from.
Is it a cause of our constant overthinking? Or am I too afraid to acknowledge the problem I am having that it all bottled up inside?
In the end, it’s a matter of dealing with it.
Dealing with it by knowing how we could control our feelings — by knowing how to cope with our emotions.
Cope With the Odd Feeling of Discomfort
When there’s already so much happening all at once, especially in my home, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
There are moments where it is the very reason why I feel sudden sadness.
How am I going to deal with it?
What am I supposed to do when my home does not feel as warm as before?
What am I supposed to do when my home does not feel at home any longer?
I Acknowledge the Problems
It is okay to admit that home does not feel the same anymore.
I don’t have to hide it.
This is one way that I can do for me to know the root of the problem. Acknowledging it is usually followed by dealing with the problem itself.
And more often than not, the next move that I usually like to do is running away from it.
As for me, the way I am dealing with my problems and emotions is to feel them, not avoid them.
Do Everything That Can Help
If some people like to run away from their problems at home, I am the opposite — most times. I always like to find solutions and ways to make myself feel better.
Music always helps me.
When there’s too much noise already, I like to drown myself in music. Blasting the songs that I love inside my bedroom and tuning out everything else.
It helps me think.
Now, if you are one of those people who likes to deal with problems quietly, that is fine. Because again and again, we all have our ways of dealing with problems.
Stay or Leave
When home no longer feels like home, an initial reaction is to find somewhere else to go.
A place where they can find true joy, peace, and sanity again.
In my case, I often do that as well.
I know, I’ve said that I always find my way to be better and to be okay, but there are times where it feels like the only choice I have is to leave.
When things get tough, I often try my best to find a solution, but I would leave when I couldn’t find any.
I could be called a coward because of that, but sometimes leaving what’s not helping me feel better anymore is the brave thing to do.
No matter how much I love something or someone when it’s already taking a toll on me, I should find the courage to walk away.
But taking a step back does not mean defeat.
Sometimes, taking a step back is the only choice that I have. And having to take it can be one of the courageous things we can do.
The True Meaning of Home
In the end, the warmth of home is always the one that will last to feel.
And when it does not feel like home anymore, always know that home is where our hearts are.
We may not feel the joy and love in the home where we grew up, but we could always find it in other places.
Sometimes, the home is not a four-walled house. It is in the arms of the one they love.
Either way, for me, home is the one where I always feel love and comfort.
